breakdown.

It's 9:41 AM now, and I'm currently waiting for someone to reply my text.

I felt really depressed now, seriously. I have never felt this way before for a long time, but all the sudden it came back. This feelings is superly creepy, dammit! It's like... haunting me! Shit. I just can't not think about it. I've tried to go out and refresh my mind from it, but I can't. :'( ARGH!

So anyway... last night I cried like hell for hours while I'm on the phone with someone. I didn't know that I was going to cry that long. God! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???

I feel so sick of myself.
I feel so embarrassed.
I feel so dumb.
I feel so stupid.
I feel..... so..... weak.

I have done my best trying to forget about it, but I don't know why and WHAT yg bikin it's all so complicated. I'm tired, seriously... I really am.
I've lost my pride once again in front of him, I just can't not ask about it to him. I've been asking for the whole night, but the end result is always a no.

And today, when the only thing that I want was a peace text conversation with him, he just can't make me not cry again. What have I done wrong to you? Why are you treating me this way? I'm sick of crying day by day by day. I'll thank God if all my efforts and those tears was worth the shot, tp ngga. All my efforts and those tears won't buy the old you, and the thing that I trully wants. Shit. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??! He have changed Mel, for God's sake! WAKE UP!!

:'(

xoxo
♥