H+4: closure

It's been two years.......  
And yet, you're still here inside of me
I thought I've moved on, but I guess it's just so hard to resist you
But I have to, it's a torture for me and them
You're just.... the best

You're the best, even though you failed sometimes
You're the best, even if we had to go through everything we've been through
You're the best, cause you're... you

Why can't I accept the others for being who they are like I did to you?
Why do I keep on comparing them to you?

Dear #4, hey how are you? Hope you're doing great. Do you still eat instant noodles for you sahur? I hope not cause if you do, I will be mad at you. And so is your mom. Well but I hope you can manage everything, including yourself a lot better than you used to a couple years ago. It's your 3rd year there, right?

Well this is kinda awkward, writing to you indirectly like this. Hmm. I have no other option I guess, and I'm just too scared that you'll reject me if I contact you via other services, just like what you did 2 years ago.

Okay let's move on.
I'm just gonna say what I wanted to say for a very long time, probably for the last time.

With you, I can be whoever I wanted to be. Without even having the feeling of being scared that you'll judge me a-z. You accept me for being who I am. Not hoping I change even just a tiny bit, just for your own sake. I'm grateful to be able to have the chance to know you, cause up until now it's so hard to find someone who accept me they way I am. Even though it's quite impossible and hard, I really wanted to be your friend again. Really do.

I've been trying to contact you, but don't know how or when is the right moment but I did. I asked for a favor from a friend of mine, who's also your friend. I told her to send my greetings to you, I didn't ask for detailed info about your reaction but what she told me kinda slapped me. Why? Well I guess I finally woken up. Nah, it's not important. I should just keep it to myself.

So anywho, yeah. If your reading this (and still feel angry), I apologize for what I did to you back then. And if you don't mind, would you be my friend again? But, if it's too much to ask for... it's okay. Well then, I better close this post or I'll start writing something cheesy. I hope you're having a blast, and hope you're always... you. :)


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