1.02.2009

he said I'm special.

(After all you put me through
You'd think I'd despise you
But in the end, I wanna thank you
'Cause you made me that much stronger)

Well I thought I knew you,
Thinking that you were true
Guess I, I couldn't trust,
Called your bluff, time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were there, by my side,
Always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out in shame, mhm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know, just how capable
I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, yeah, oh

Never saw it coming,
All of your backstabbing
Just so you could cash in
On a good thing before I'd realized your game
I heard you're going 'round
Playin' the victim now
But don't even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, mm

After all of the fights and the lies
Guess you're wanting to haunt me
But that won't work anymore
No more, uh uh, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now
And never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust, so cruel?
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies,
Disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
You won't stop me

I am a fighter and I
(I'm a fighter)
I ain't gonna stop
(I ain't gonna stop)
There is no turning back
I've had enough

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Thought I would forget, but I
I remember
Yes, I remember
I remember

Thought I would forget
I remember
Yes, I remember
I'll remember

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter


Fighter by Christina Aguilera.


--

Kata Kak Heri (mentor gue waktu Pramuka Trip April lalu) lagu ini cocok banget buat gue.

Kenapa tiba-tiba ngomongin Kak Heri, Mel?
Karena malam ini dia udah ngajarin gue a new way to see life, a new perspective.

So, tadi out of randomness gue nyapa Kak Heri di MSN. To say HAPPY NEW YEAR. Out of curiosity I'm asking him about his religion (soalnya we've once talked about something but then waktu gue tiba2 menyinggung soal agama dia tiba2 backed off). Shocking news is he's... well, ga punya agama. No, he's is definitely not an atheist. Soalnya setau gue (dia jg ngmg) klo atheist itu ga percaya adanya Tuhan, sedangkan dia percaya. Tapi dia bilang kalo dia harus memilih, he'll choose Buddha. "Sebenernya Buddha tuh bukan agama sama sekali Mel. We don't have to praise the lord in Buddhism, gakda janji surga n neraka". Shocking statement, huh? Well, I'm kinda used to it now since selama kita chatting for one and a half hour he said a lot of things that shock me. Kocaknya, dia bilang karena ini dia banyak disalahin sama orang-orang karena "Gw backed off karna takut u malah nanti jadi kusut gitu abis dengerin gw. Biasanya orang2 gitu soalnya, ujung2nya gw disalahin karna goyah-in nilai2 yang ada". Haha, unik banget emang ini orang.

Jujur, gw kagum banget sama Kak Heri. BANGET. Dari awal gw ketemu gue udah ngerasa kagum sama dia, apa lagi setelah malam ini. I really see a lot of similarities between me and him about seeing things in life. "Nanti kalo u begaul dengan banyak orang, u bakal nemuin banyak kok mel..." I'm looking forward to it, Kak! :)

Apa hubungan Kak Heri dengan lagu Christina di atas?
Gada. Dia cuma ngasih gue itu lagu karena habis gw cerita tentang masalah gue tentang rasa bencinya gue dengan seseorang bbrp waktu lalu dia bilang lagu itu mencerminkan gue banget. I'm flattered, you know. Kak Heri berkali-kali bilang I'm special, and when I asked why and how does he knows that, he simply answered "Gw percaya insting gw mel". HOW CAN I NOT BE FLATTERED? It's just so amazing how someone that you barely know said you're special than others just because insting mereka berkata demikian?

Ngomong-ngomong, emang dia ngajarin apa aja sih Mel?
Tonite? BANYAK! In such a short time, he taught me tons of stuffs! Yang paling penting adalah he taught me to start learning gimana caranya berbuat sesuatu dengan tulus tanpa mengharapkan apapun. It's hard. C'mon everyone knows that but seriously, setelah ngedengerin dia dan mengintrospeksi tentang masalah gue dengan seseorang ternyata it does make a connection! He said I have to learn how to love someone without even thinking or even asking untuk dia membalas perasaan kita. "Kalo emang u sayang ma orang, ya sayang ajah. Jangan PAMRIH MINTA DISAYANG BALIK, jadi kalo dibales ya bonus". Aneh tapi nyata, itu bener-bener make sense. Mungkin rasa benci gue ke seseorang ini dikarena gue berharap lebih ke dia, maka timbullah perasaan tersebut. Dan emang bener, setelah gue pikir-pikir jaman waktu gue dan dia just go with the flow kita sama sekali ga pernah conflict, tapi setelah that day conflict banyak muncul dan itu disebabkan karena kita mengharapkan sesuatu yang lebih from each other. WOW.

To Kak Heri (if you read this), makasih banyak ya kak udah ngajarin gue a lot of new things tonite. THANK YOU for showing me a new way to see things in life :) Dan tenang aja, because of you skrg gue jd ada new year resolution deh: belajar untuk tulus dalam melakukan segala hal dan menyerahkan segalanya kepada yang di-Atas.

Oh yeah, if you're wondering "Kak Heri tuh tampangnya kayak gimana sih, Mel?" Well, this is Kak Heri:
The quote "Don't judge a book by its cover" emang bener-bener bener (nah lho), coba aja lo bayangin orang se-wise Kak Heri ternyata tampangnya (dan kelakukannya) masih aja ga jauh-jauh beda dari umuran kita. Padahal he's married, haha.

--
New thing I wanna discussed, yesterday (since it's 12.43 now) I finally get to chance to meet my very very best friend, LIAAAAAAAAA! I am so happy that after so long akhirnya ketemu lagi :) OH! And I get to meet my good friend, Melissa, after years of knowing and talking to each other dimulai dari fs, msn, sms, fb smpe akhirnya ktmu juga :)

NEW YEAR @ PROST, KEMANG.

Velika, Melissa, Me.

Gosh, I love my best friend so mucho mucho gusto ♥

Lina, Me, Lia, Velika.


My gosh January 2nd I think has been the best day - so far - of this year : D

PS: Another new year resolution, hihi ~> From now on, gw bakal mulai menyayangi semua orang di hidup gue (and those yang baru akan mengisi hari-hari gue ke depan, someday ;)) secara tulus. AMIN!

Nighty nite, people!
T0odles!

xoxo

3 comments:

tara said...

mel, gue juga setuju sama omongannya ka heri soal sayang ke orang itu, itupun setelah gue baca novel test pack. tapiiiiiii, kayaknya susah untuk sayang dan seikhlas itu..bukan kayaknya sih tapi emang iya

Melinda S said...

novel apaan tuh? kok namanya unik bgt tar?

iyalah, sgala hal yg bersifat baik itu pasti susah bgt dilakuin hahaha.. :p but if there's a will, there's a way! WAHOO. smangaaat! CAYO CAYO :D

tara said...

judulnya test pack, novel indonesia. penulisnya ninit yunita. baca deeeeeh mel!