4.23.2009

The Breakup; the longest silence

BEFORE READING:
IT IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED THAT YOU LISTEN TO THE CLIMB BY MILEY CYRUS AND NOTHING LASTS FOREVER BY MAROON 5 OVER AND OVER THROUGH THE WHOLE POST.

READY?

♥ ENJOY! ♥
:)



Senin pagi (jam 2/3an pagi) gue baru selesai online dan bersiap-siap tidur. Gue ngeliat Rio yang udah terlelap gitu ketiduran di tempat tidur gue, kasian.

Jadi Minggu malemnya (19 April) kita berdua kan ke Carrefour soalnya gue mau belanja bulanan bareng nyokap dan Dimas, nah waktu itu gerimis dan yah, dari parkiran ke mobil kita berdua keujanan. Akibatnya, malem2nya kita berdua pusing. Dan kenapa Rio bisa sampai terlelap? Karena kita berdua habis minum PANADOL EXTRA, yg sepertinya dan obviously membuat kantuk. Huff. Gue ga tega ngebanguninnya jd gue cm bisa mandangin dia kyk org bego, haha. Habis Rio kalo lg tidur mukanya polos, dongo dan anak kecil bangeet. Awww, minta gue peluk HAHA tp kenapa ya kalo udah bangun mukanya minta digampar?

So anyway. I just downloaded a few new songs, and one of them is The Climb by Miley Cyrus. I kept on listening to it over and over again the whole time I was looking at Rio and I don't know why, suddenly tears started to came down from my eyes down to my cheek. I was like "Heee, knapa nih gue nangis?" But then I realized its probably because I was sad cause I know I gotta let go of him for now... Its for the best :)

It wasn't the easiest decision to make to let someone that you love and cared about go away, but even tho it's hard I have to do it. For both of us. Before we started to enter the phase where we fight almost every single day and started to hate each other because of that. No, I don't wanna repeat what happened between me and my latest ex (before Rio), no. I had enough with it! And I'm sick of hating the person I love and care about. Cause I've realized, in life... you don't need a status to be with the person you care about. No matter what the status is, as long as you know you're close to them, you care about them and they also care about you... I guess that's more than enough :)

Don't you think so?

So yeah
Kayaknya gara-gara gue tiba2 yg ingusan trs berisik, Rio kebangun gitu. But I can tell that he wasn't 100% sober, haha. He asked me what happened, why am I crying and all I can say was "Nah, nothing happened. I'm okay" and I can only wish he would buy my lame excuses. All I wanna do that night was just to hug Rio tight and never let go, and so I did. I hugged Rio and just pretend that we're okay. And then we fell asleep.

In the morning, or I may say afternoon. I decided to talk about "us" di teras belakang, karena gue gamau harus ngelakuin sesuatu yg gue ga pengen lakuin di kamar - where I'll spent most of my time. Di sana gue yg deg2an super parah sampe2 gue mau ngmg jd agak2 gagu kyk org cacat dan perut gue pun sakit kyk orang mau boker. But then I know, gue ga bisa ngundur ini lagi. No, gue gamau. Tepat pukul 1:38 PM, I said this:

Me: Njing, masih inget soal pertanyaanku dulu waktu kt masih HTS?
Rio: Yee, yg mane? Kamu nanya kan banyak banget
Me: BHAHA, iya sih ya.. Yaa, yg aku blg aku takut kalo kita nerusin dr HTS ke jadian trus some day we broke up kt jd musuhan. Trs aku minta kt untuk ttp temenan apapun status kita, inget kan?
Rio: Iya, knapa?
Me: Itu masih berlaku?
Rio: Masih kok
Me: Sampai kapan pun?
Rio: *mulai penasaran* He eh masih masih, knapa emang bi?
Me: *menarik nafas panjang dan nggak berani natap ke mata Rio* Aku... aku mau putus
Rio: *diam beberapa saat* Oh... Hmm. Kenapa?

Habis itu gue menceritakan segala macam unek2 yg udah menjadi beban diotak gue untuk beberapa minggu belakangan. MAKASIH TUHAN, dia mengerti :) Dan makasih Tuhan juga gue udah diberikan kesabaran selama beberapa minggu belakangan :)

Sepanjang kita ngomongin itu, gue yg megang lengan dia erat gitu. Afraid of letting him go, even tho I know I should and I will, sooner or later. I guess I've chose sooner, than later.

After that, we were both caught up in a very awkward moment untung aja nyokap dan Dimas udah pulang jadinya rumah rame. Then we went to my room (Dimas too) trus we were all talking about random stuff, well most of the time Dimas do the talking I can only stare at something with nothing on my mind, alias bengong. Rio supposedly went home at 3 PM, tp terundur2 trus karena Dimas minta bantuan dia soal his music group thingy.

After he kinda helped Dimas, I remembered that at Carrefour I bought some blueberry mix max for both of us. So yeah, we drank it while we had our chit chat. At 4ish PM, I took the car with me and dropped Rio off at Pasar Pondok Labu.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, that was like the HARDEST 'dropping off Rio' scene I've ever felt! But since I know his habit; not talking when he's inside a car, so I decided to not talk as well. I don't feel like talking anyway so yeah, we were both were killed by the silence all the way from my house to Pasar. After I dropped Rio off, you guys know what happened? Tears started to drop down onto my cheek one by one, hahaha. I was like crying all the way back home and couldn't stop and don't want it to stop. Oh Goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Waktu sampe rumah, thankfully, gue sempet ga nangis but then waktu balik ke kamar and knowing that Rio used to be there like 40 minutes ago, I started to cry again. HAHAHA. Oh weeeellll..... We gotta do, what we gotta do right? :)

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
*I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m gonna remember most yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on
Cause...

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith


The Climb by Miley Cyrus
--

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes you so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way


Nothing Lasts Forever by Maroon 5
















Makasih udah ngajarin aku tentang makna hidup dari sisi kamu
Makasih udah memberitahukan aku tentang betapa kerasnya hidup dan betapa jahatnya orang-orang disekitar kita bisa bersikap ke kita
Makasih udah ngajarin aku kalo hidup itu emang cuma bisa dijalanin, ga bisa terlau direncanakan apalagi ditahan-tahan
Makasih udah ngebolehin aku menjadi seseorang yang mungkin pernah berarti di hidup kamu
Makasih untuk kasih sayang dan perhatian yang kamu berikan ke aku

Maaf kalau mungkin aku ada salah-salah kata maupun perlakuan
Maaf kalau mungkin aku pernah menjadi beban di hidup kamu
Maaf kalau aku bawel dan arogan dan egois dan lain lain

Ich liebe dich, Satrya Damarjati :)
Wo ai ni, Satrya Damarjati :)
Watashiwa aishiteru, Satrya Damarjati :)
I love you, Satrya Damarjati :)
Aku sayang kamu, Satrya Damarjati :)


*PS: Itu 5 different languages ya, bkn 4 ;)

T0odles!

13 comments:

Kanira Supono said...

gue juga suka mel lagu The Climb, liriknya bikin memotivasi gue kayak pas lagi belajar trus males eeh langsung kebayang angan2 gue jadi jakun, langsung semangat belajar hehehe

meliiin jangan sedih yaa krn putus :D smoga keputusan lo itu adlh keputusan terbaik buat lo berduaa :)

arigato-mput said...

melinnn
sedih juga yah~ padahal gue pikir kalian bakalan langgeng tapi ko putuss
eh cuman tadi gue liat foto lo ama mantan lo itu gue jadi sedih -,-
sayanggbgt knp musti putusss
tapi mungkin itu uda keputusan terbae kali yah :)

mput said...

melll
sayang bgt yah knp musti putuss :((
cuman pasti itu udakeputusan terbaee :DDD

tapi sayang bgt yaa
gue jadi terharu liat foto2 lo ama mantan lo..
huh ~ moga ini uda jadi sebuah keputusan terbae
pasti ada hikmahnya :)

Satrya Damarjati said...

menurut ak, saat kamu ngelepasin aku disaat itulah kamu semakin ngerti aku gmn, tanpa melihat keinginan dan harapan kmu.
Dan jarang ada yg bisa seperti itu. aku bangga (:
aku terima kasih bgt kamu pernah jadi guru di hidup aku, memberi kesempatan bersama kamu dan keluarga kamu (:
mungkin entah berapa tahun lagi kita bisa ketawa ngakak, nginget moment moment ini yg berawal dari chatting 4 jam dan digosipin temen2 (:
dan mudah mudahan ga pernah ada akhirnya. amin

aku sayang kamu, meskipun aku pernah salah itung 5 bahasa jadi 4 bahasa :D

makasi byk mel (:

Dhandhy Hilwandra said...

yeaahh, bginilah yg bgusss
mantan jgn djadiin musuh
hehehe

ak juga lgi pngen berhubungan baik dgn mereka2 ndul
hahaha
lebih tepatnya sih memperbaiki hubungan yg dulu smpet agak2 kaya musuh
jadi curcol gini di blog km
hhaha
:D

Melinda S said...

@ kanira: aaaw, smangat nira!!! :D pasti bisaaaaa, kl pun ga yaa pasti there's always something a lot better out there for you! :D

iyaa, ngga kok ga sedih aku malah lega dengan keadaan sperti ini :) seenggaknya walaupun gue udh putus, gw sm dia msh berhubungan dengan sangat baik. for me, thats more than enough :)

iyaa, amin2 :D

Melinda S said...

@ putri: hehe iyaa, org2 banyak yg ngmg mreka jd ikutan sedih, terharu dan sgala mcm wktu tau gue putus. bahkan mantan gebetan gue yg gue gatau sm skali kl dia tau gue jdian smpe nanya2 ke gue knapa bs putus, dia bahkan smpe ngmg "i thought u guys were in love" hahahaha :D wow!!!

cm yaa, drpd dipaksain malah nantinya jd ribut2 mulu put.. kyk wkt sm audi, mending gini lah. sakit sih krn musti ngelepas org yg gue syg, cman seenggaknya gue ttp msh bs berhubungan baik :D

iyaa, insya Allah ini yg terbaik. doain aja yaaaa :) makasih mput

Melinda S said...

@ rio: aku jd ngerasa malu dan terharu dan bangga sm diri sndiri pas tau km bangga sm aku yank hihi :)

iya, njing. sama2 ya syg :)

iyaaa, insya Allah kt ttp bs kyk gini trus yaa njing. ttp jd tmn sd, tmn dkt, sahabat, mantan jd sahabat.. apa lah statusnya g penting yg ptg dkt ktnya :) yah? insya Allah kt g bakalan prnh konflik yaa, jgn smpe.. amin!

iya, aku tau km syg aku dan aku tau km bego gbs itung dngn bnr mknya veter 2x bhehehe :D
km jg tau aku syg kamu kan? :)

makasi byk satrya :)

Melinda S said...

@ ran: aku baru skali ini putus baik2 mo, putusnya face to face pula. br skali haha alhamdulillah it doesn't went wrong :D

iyaa, usahain km perbaiki lah mo.. yg lalu biarin aja berlalu jgn diinget2, kl diinget2 malah bkin susah buat kt memperbaiki relation yg ada :)

gpp, km udh terlalu sring curcol kok bhehehe :D
good luck momo :)

Ai said...

duh mel..skalinya berkunjung ke blog lo gw langsung terharu gini baca postingannya.. =)

tp gw salut, jrg loh ada yg putus, tp msh tetep keep in touch bahkan msh bs bersikap sm sperti biasa..yah..walopun pastinya ada hal yg berubah..

btw, ini gw ai anak abjad juga, yg di fesbuk bernamakan Sari.
just call me ai ya ;)

Melinda S said...

@ ai: bhahaha makasih aii :D

iya, gw jg ini kali kedua bs tmnan sm mntn, tp yg ini lbh amazing lg sih soalnya sm yg satunya gue smpt musuhan dan g ngmg kl yg ini kt ttp kontek, alhamdulillah :)

oohh, ai ya dipanggilnya? okaaay! :D

Alanda said...

Boleh comment nggak Mel? I used to think stuff like that. But try to think the other way. Try to think that you guys won't break up and become enemies. Whatever you think, think the opposite. Try to think that you guys will be like forever. I know Adam Levine said nothing lasts forever, because both of you will be dead - 100 years from now. Cherish every moment like there's no tomorrow. Don't you feel like 'dropping him off' everyday with a lot of smiles than once with a lot of tears? :)

It's just an opinion. I understand what you meant. And I know both of you still love each other (well, from what I saw in your blog, ya). Rio go grab her hand and give a proposal.

For an official, lasting relationship. :D

Melinda S said...

SANGAT STUJU DENGAN KALIMAT "cherish every moment like there's no tomorrow". hhaah :D
sbtulnya bukan hanya dalam kisah cinta aja sih ya mnurut gue quote itu ngenanya, tp dalam kehidupan sehari-hari pun harusnya kayak gitu. jd bnr2 ga bakal ada deh perasaan menyesal krn ngga atau udah ngelakuin ini itu blabla.

BHAAHHA proposaaaal, emg gue dosen? :p

thanks for the comments Alanda :)